Had a very difficult weekend. Personal life is chaotic, cold, distrusting. Juggling so many things with limited hours, limited patience.
Dreams are hyper-sexual, hyper-physical. Very intimate close body contacts with many acquaintances (not sex, but sex-like). Then, aggressive lesbian encounters.
Missing intimacy and affection and love. Remembering I deserve love, even though the person I live with seems to forget I need taking care of too.
A lot of dharma talks helping me get through all of this. Remembering dharma, remembering refuge, remembering to take care of myself. Trying to be here in this moment, in this day.
Caffeina 